Orbiter Dictum
This scripture is one of the most important in the canon. It is so holy and important that it is presented before before every service. Simple observation of the intent behind each line yields much, and is provided in this obiter dictum.

The book is presented with musical accompaniment, and can be easily sung by any Absorbant. While children can concentrate on the simple (Kids) response lines, they should be encouraged to learn to sing with the Captain as well. Some lines can be difficult for small children, but these lines contain some of the Church's foundational ideas and therefore the sooner they can sing them, the better.

The overall sequence is also important. The passage begins with an inquiry (to prepare our minds.) After ascertaining that those about to receive the message are indeed ready, the Captain tests us to see if we know who we are about to begin to study (in classic Socratic fashion) thereafter, he proceeds to instruct us. Question / response continues throughout the verses, keeping the follower connected to the message, and reinforcing the correct pronunciation of YAP for the uninitiated. It is a brilliant primer/catechism.

1. (Captain) Are you ready kids? The Great Inquiry
2. (Kids) Aye-aye, captain!
3. (Captain) I can't hear you!
4. (Kids) Aye-aye, captain! Interestingly, the response is given at the same volume as v2. It's theorized that v3 is merely to focus the mind. Focusing the mind before beginning any task is important; it's a sign of readiness.
5. (Captain) Oooooooooo
6. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
7. (Kids) SpongeBob Squarepants.
8. (Captain) Absorbent and Yellow and Porous is He. This verse forms the foundation of YAP.
9. (Kids) SpongeBob Squarepants.
10. (Captain) If nautical nonsense be something you wish,
11. (Kids) SpongeBob Squarepants.
12. (Captain) Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish. The First Great Instruction
13. (Kids) SpongeBob Squarepants.
14. (Captain) Ready? Again, the Great Inquiry. It's repetition in this short book suggests its importance.
15. (Captain and Kids) SpongeBob Squarepants, SpongeBob Squarepants, SpongeBob Squarepants
16. (Captain) SpongeBob Squarepants.
17. Harh ha, arh arh har, yahha huor hor har hairgh. This Book ends with holy words that are difficult to decipher and repeat. Some Absorbants suggest that v17 should not be repeated aloud, only heard from the Captain weekly, as if a sacrament. These words, provided they can be mastered, make an excellent mantra; if not mastered, they can be highly embarrassing.